Sciurus griseus, vos es mortuus!

January 5, 2010

I have today made a declaration of war. My enemy is clever, resilient and determined. He works and fights most daylight hours. His pleasure? To eat the seed I provide for the birds of the air. In the past we enjoyed some pathetic exchanges. I fired my new weapons (a $30 pellet pistol) with great anticipation, only to discover that his armor was superior. My fusillades were shrugged off. Even direct hits between the eyeballs were met with a confused stare. As if to say, was that supposed to hurt? But today I am eschewing conventional weapons. Today I have made the decision to fight chemically and psychologically.

 I know that I am not the first warrior to engage this filthy rodent. But my chemical knowledge and underhand character should help a lot.

The thick mixture of Vaseline and Cayenne pepper spread on the top of the bird feeder and up the supporting pole will surely make his treacherous paws burn! And this is just the beginning! When we connect the old Christmas lights to the feeder those little bulbs won’t be the only thing that’s burning bright.

 And if these measures should not work? I cannot divulge the truly revolting measures I will employ at this time. His spies are everywhere. Join me in this quest? This Tree Rodent Jihad? Of course. Send no money now, but channel all your anti rodent energy onto my bird feeder here in the Canby war zone. Together we can rid our feeders of this pestilence!

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